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Saturday, June 2, 2007
Letter to Friends and Lovers (p. 2)
Dear Friends and Lovers,
It has come to my attention that you are aware of the presence of one publication, The Awkward Alligator, of which you are at the present moment in possession. While I recommend that you read the contents of said magazine with whatever keen awareness and vigour you are able to devote, I also would like to place inside your head a number of notions that we have been discussing of late. Do you mind if I explain in the next paragraph?
Thank you, Reader, I see that you are both humane and of capable faculties. I was telling you before that we have been gabbing about new ideas, and we've decided to make some additions in the coming year that you should probably make yourself familiar with. Some of you are already familiar with the group to which we belong, the RE: collective, but others of you are not. The website is on the back of this AA, and you should probably poke in to say hello. Through RE: we do our mail art stuff and a new project called Excerpts that's pretty sweet. In the next year we will also be launching our Wish Tank, dedicated to writing strongly worded letters to all the different people and organizations that so desperately need a dose of diction. All of our friends are encouraged (almost required, really) to download the letterhead, write off a couple scolding lines, and then send it to the offending person (or organization). We'll make sure you know more about it as the website comes up.
Speaking of which, can I write to you for just a second in a candid manner? Bless you. The deal is this: many of you have chatted with us over our email address (awkwardalligator@gmail.com), and this is always good because we like chatting, but now we have a website where you can also chat. No, seriously. All of you know how much we flap our gums about helping smart readers find smart writers, and a blog-style website seemed like a logical extension of that. We're still doing a bunch of work, but most AA back-issues are up there now for your perusing pleasure. Where is it? At www.re-awkwardalligator.blogspot.com, of course! All submissions, comments, questions, and general gossip can still be sent to the email address, (and for submissions the email address is the only way [actually, just recently The Awkward Alligator has activated it's very own PO Box, feel free to send things to us; see "submit work" section on the right side of your screen for address details]) but for other chats about stories, poems, or friendship we'll now be using our new babble-wagon.
I know that you're smart, Reader. You'll figure out the rest. In the meantime please try some of this Awkward Alligator. I hope you think it's delicious.
With Due Gusto,
Vincent Saint-Simon
It has come to my attention that you are aware of the presence of one publication, The Awkward Alligator, of which you are at the present moment in possession. While I recommend that you read the contents of said magazine with whatever keen awareness and vigour you are able to devote, I also would like to place inside your head a number of notions that we have been discussing of late. Do you mind if I explain in the next paragraph?
Thank you, Reader, I see that you are both humane and of capable faculties. I was telling you before that we have been gabbing about new ideas, and we've decided to make some additions in the coming year that you should probably make yourself familiar with. Some of you are already familiar with the group to which we belong, the RE: collective, but others of you are not. The website is on the back of this AA, and you should probably poke in to say hello. Through RE: we do our mail art stuff and a new project called Excerpts that's pretty sweet. In the next year we will also be launching our Wish Tank, dedicated to writing strongly worded letters to all the different people and organizations that so desperately need a dose of diction. All of our friends are encouraged (almost required, really) to download the letterhead, write off a couple scolding lines, and then send it to the offending person (or organization). We'll make sure you know more about it as the website comes up.
Speaking of which, can I write to you for just a second in a candid manner? Bless you. The deal is this: many of you have chatted with us over our email address (awkwardalligator@gmail.com), and this is always good because we like chatting, but now we have a website where you can also chat. No, seriously. All of you know how much we flap our gums about helping smart readers find smart writers, and a blog-style website seemed like a logical extension of that. We're still doing a bunch of work, but most AA back-issues are up there now for your perusing pleasure. Where is it? At www.re-awkwardalligator.blogspot.com, of course! All submissions, comments, questions, and general gossip can still be sent to the email address, (and for submissions the email address is the only way [actually, just recently The Awkward Alligator has activated it's very own PO Box, feel free to send things to us; see "submit work" section on the right side of your screen for address details]) but for other chats about stories, poems, or friendship we'll now be using our new babble-wagon.
I know that you're smart, Reader. You'll figure out the rest. In the meantime please try some of this Awkward Alligator. I hope you think it's delicious.
With Due Gusto,
Vincent Saint-Simon
Contents (p. 3)
Contents
POETRY
............................................................................................................................................6
Never Ignorant of Getting Goals AccomplishedOedipus Jones
.....................................................................................................................................................................................7
floatersbrock bernard
...............................................................................................................................................................8
Outline For a DiscourseC. Yumi Kim
..............................................................................................................................................................................9
tenbrock bernard
ESSAYS & LETTERS
....................................................................................................................................................................12
ManifestoNikki Rainey
................................................................................................................................................................................14
Artist’s StatementCurt Bozif
..........................................................................................................................................................16
Strongly Worded Letter to Smiling FoxVincent Saint-Simon
......................................................................................................................................................18
Strongly Worded Letter to Vincent Saint-SimonSmiling Fox
FICTION
.........................................................................................................................................................................22
Don’t Forget to WriteVincent Saint-Simon
The Awkward Alligator is lovingly shuffled together by Matt, Nikki, Curt, Natalie, Brock, AJ, and Nick. Please send submissions to: awkwardalligator@gmail.com.
Never Ignorant of Getting Goals Accomplished (p. 6)
POETRY
Never Ignorant of Getting Goals Accomplished
Oedipus Jones
I want
To drink coffee without any ulcers,
To smoke without worry of cancer,
To take drink in excess with no consequences
Physical or social,
To read think and write (almost) exclusively,
Confound reason and commonsense,
And plague the collective unconscious with my contemptible whims.
I will achieve a literal immortality
And die by my own hand.
Never Ignorant of Getting Goals Accomplished
Oedipus Jones
I want
To drink coffee without any ulcers,
To smoke without worry of cancer,
To take drink in excess with no consequences
Physical or social,
To read think and write (almost) exclusively,
Confound reason and commonsense,
And plague the collective unconscious with my contemptible whims.
I will achieve a literal immortality
And die by my own hand.
floaters (p. 7)
floaters
brock bernard
i asked around
and i hear that they're called floaters,
quickly becoming
a great annoyance for me.
they make me feel old.
they make me feel dry.
they make me feel like a writer,
which is quite the shame; i am most certainy not,
waking up a three pm
with burning eyes because of that oppressive
late afternoon sunlight, reading Ginsberg and
writing 'i feel' statements.
a different floater in a different eye
every other week.
and it makes me wonder,
really if they aren't just errant memories,
ones i was looking for a fortnight ago,
saying their last goodbyes laughingly.
three-and-twenty feels old
and i can't back that up tomorrow, with new ash
in my eyes.
brock bernard
i asked around
and i hear that they're called floaters,
quickly becoming
a great annoyance for me.
they make me feel old.
they make me feel dry.
they make me feel like a writer,
which is quite the shame; i am most certainy not,
waking up a three pm
with burning eyes because of that oppressive
late afternoon sunlight, reading Ginsberg and
writing 'i feel' statements.
a different floater in a different eye
every other week.
and it makes me wonder,
really if they aren't just errant memories,
ones i was looking for a fortnight ago,
saying their last goodbyes laughingly.
three-and-twenty feels old
and i can't back that up tomorrow, with new ash
in my eyes.
Outline for a Discourse (p. 8)
Outline for a Discourse
C. Yumi Kim
The Windy City
The Coast
Myself
Crowded Airport
You, of course.
In Between
Unfamiliarity
This is the skeleton of a discourse. I hope to finish it one day.
C. Yumi Kim
The Windy City
The Coast
Myself
Crowded Airport
You, of course.
In Between
Unfamiliarity
This is the skeleton of a discourse. I hope to finish it one day.
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